By Rachael Elizabeth
For some mothers, motherhood might be an easier journey than others but one thing we all share together, the gift of being mums. Whether we fought fertility struggles, and had long-awaited dreams of having our babies safely in our arms, the moment we become mothers, everything changes. Our priorities change. For in that precious moment that we witness our little ones enter this earth with our partners who helped to create them, our children, become our world.
Sleep of course takes a back seat, sleep, who needs it right, we sleep when we aren’t alive right! So, embracing the wonderful golden years as tough as they are at first, is exactly what we should be doing. We are all exactly where we are meant to be. Right in the magical moments of motherhood.
As we often feel like we are stuck in the middle of the motherhood trenches, with no where else to turn, it’s our fellow mothers and grandmothers before us, our friends and family who get us through.
Motherhood and parenthood truly does take a village, as they say. Whether it be baking a new mum/new parents a nice homecooked meal, to checking in with them with a text message or phone call when the little ones are giving them some downtime, it all truly shows that we do all care. Not just about the precious baby who has arrived into this big wide world, but that it matters how our loved ones are feeling too.
Postpartum depression and anxiety are more common than we realise. I know for one that when our eldest son was about 12-13 weeks old and hitting the 3-month mark, I noticed myself becoming more anxious.
I had a little incident that happened at our son’s christening which was a worrying time when I had accidentally stepped on an unknown object without my heels as we were getting his pram up the stairs and to the car at the end of the service. In reality, it would have likely been the head of a pin corsage no doubt from a wedding that had been days earlier, but when I got sick, the doctor thought it could have possibly been a discarded needle head. The anxiety took hold of me and for 3-6 months I had tests to make sure that I was all okay, which thankfully I was.
On top of that was the normal anxiety that comes with motherhood and parenthood, ensuring that we are good parents. Has the baby slept enough, are they in a good sleep and feeding/play routine?
Are they stimulated too much or too little? The big moment for me was when my grandfather had passed when our eldest son was just over 6 weeks old and my milk stopped, there literally was a bottle of late-night expressed milk that had been accidentally discarded that a family member had thought was off formula, and despite trying to go on tablets to bring my milk back (the local bulk-billing GP at the time) had also prescribed the wrong tablets for me, the milk sadly didn’t come back.
By that point I’d had mastitis once and it was brutal but not as brutal as it was with our second son, Oscar, I had it 3-4 times and to the point where I should have been admitted to hospital. I was shivering uncontrollably but my temperature was sky high, I felt so awful and the pain was unbearable.
The antibiotics did help eventually but only switched to formula and essentially admitting defeat a few months later made me feel better. Then came the guilt, but I knew deep down that both of our babies were thriving, and they were being fed and they were oh so loved! xo
I joined a mother’s group with Ollie, but all of the other mums were mostly breastfeeding. They welcomed me with open arms, but Ollie was a few weeks older due to the delay of not getting into the first two groups with the local health nurse calendar and support program for new mums. I enjoyed going to the nursery rhymes, to coffee dates and shopping centre dates. Do I regret not getting out more in the early days with both pregnancies and new-born phases? Yes, that’s true too but looking back, I did what was right for me at the time, our family, and our circumstances.
Now, as I look at our Mr 5.5-year-old and our almost Mr 3.5-year-old in a few months’ time, I thank my lucky stars that they chose my husband and I as their parents. Their little brother and (who we think was a little sister for our second loss) will be forever in our hearts, watching over our babies.
If you are in the thick of motherhood right now, just breathe and remember that it’s all worth it. Every single late night, every nappy change, every feeling of utter tiredness and despair if you can’t get bub to settle, for these little moments will be the big moments and ones that you’ll treasure for the rest of your life. These moments are truly magic looking back and the musical moments of sweet lullabies and baby newborn and toddler cuddles are moments that you simply can’t buy. Moments of love, unconditional love. Those little cheeky and dirty toddler fingers become hands to hold for a lifetime. My greatest achievement is our two boys. I am SO INCREDIBLY PROUD TO BE THEIR MOTHER. #thankyouollieandoscarforchoosingusasyourparents #weloveyoubothdearly #mummy xo
Do you have any editorial opinion pieces or discussion topics which you would like to share with us? Are you a new mum, or a mum who has a few gorgeous tots who would like to share her wisdom? Drop us a line or connect with us via our Instagram/Facebook pages. Much love, Rachael Elizabeth.
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With love, and with grace, always and forever.
Post written: Sunday, January 24th, 2021.